Simply B Well

What is cyber bullying, this word has been bantered about over the last few years but has become more prevalent and parents are sitting up and taking note specifically in the last few years. Cyberbullying as defined by Sameer Hinduja and Justin Patchin who wrote “Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard: Preventing and responding to cyber bullying:  “Intentional and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones and other electronic devices”. 

In America a national survey was conducted in 2001, this is 10 years ago where mobile units where more prevalent that in South Africa.  74% of 7 to 11year olds reported to being bullied or teased at school.  Though only a few studies have been done on students experiences of cyberbullying but it has been determined that there is an increase in cyberbullying[7].  A more current survey and research conducted by Hinduja and Patchin involved 2000 random school students and found briefly that:

• 30% of the students were victims of at least 1 form of bullying in two more times in the past 30 days
• 22% admitted to engaging in at least 1 form of cyber bullying two or more times in the past 30 days and
• Both victims and offenders reported lower self esteem than those who had not experienced cyber bullying.[5]

Cyberbullying as the definition says are messages meant to cause intentional harm and hurt.  The current situation with technology is that you cannot get away from the it, so these messages follow you around all day and night as these messages can come through on your cellphone or email at work/school and home.  Whereas with standard bullying you could normally leave that behind at work or at school when you go home to relax or hide in some children’s cases.

Mentally tick off whether or not you have be involved in any one or more mentioned, this goes for adults as well as their children:

• Have you ever:

1…. sent continual sms’s to one person in a very short space in time?
2.…signed on with someone else’s screen name to gather information on them?
3…. Sent a document from someone else’s computer without their permission?
4. …Lying about who you are in IM or in chatrooms ?

5.…. Forwarded private IM conversations to someone else without their permission?

6…. Embarress or ditch someone on your profile status?

7…. *** THIS IS A BIG ONE*** posting photographs or tagging someone on your network without their permission?

8….. Creating a poll about someone to ditch or embarrass them without their permission?

9…. Using your friends password to access her/his account and post hurtful/ harmful/derogatory/ embarrassing things on her /his status or send messages to others on their behalf not telling the truth or putting them in a precarious or dangerous position?

10…. Sending someone a virus?

11… voting on an online bashing poll of someone even if its someone you don’t know?

• (Note that all of the above qualify as forms of cyber bullying.)

Cyber bullying is often motivated by anger, revenge or frustration, boredom, jealousy, need for attention. Sometimes it has entertainment value while for others it is about power play. Kids might be bored or just try to get some attention or reaction. Some may even think they are righting a wrong by standing up for others.

Email addresses, chat rooms,  profiles, the danger of this situation is that the student who is setting up their “persona” on their profile can lie about all their information to suit them.  This is where some cyberbullying messages can come from an “anonymous” source, but  more likely than not the victim knows who the person is who is being the bully. When students remain anonymous it gives them a sense of confidence enabling them to become less inhibited by what they say  and how they say things. If this meeting or communication was face to face their inhibition would not be has heightened. [7] According to studies conducted  more boys are involved in the standard bullying practices where was the cyberbullying was deemed that majority of girls use the cyberbullying technique than boys, but now it seems to have evened out that boys and girls are both equally to blame when it comes to cyberbullying.

There are enormous consequences of the perpetrators actions of cyber bullying to the victim.  What may have seemed as innocent, funny and witty comments could change and negatively a young person’s life for ever.

Parents: How do you know if your child has been cyberbullied, what to look out for:

Generally those children who display the following behaviours may have been cyberbullied:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Victims feel socially ineffective – Low self esteem, don’t feel they can be part of a group, not accepted
• Interpersonal difficulties (don’t want to go to friends parties etc)
• Struggle with social interaction
• Higher absenteeism (stomach aches, headaches – don’t want to go to school)
• Lower academic results (distracted)[6]

(any the above symptoms may be identified as your child may be having difficulty with something not necessary cyberbullying but some other difficulty)

Parents: How do you advise your child:

• Be open with them and tell them you know and have read up on cyberbullying
• In advance advise your child to save any nasty, mean, ugly, embarrassing texts or photographs that have been sent to them via any form of social networking and show you.
• you as a parent must in no means be shocked by what you see, be adult and protect your child.
• engage with the parents of the child who sent it
• if you are uncertain who sent it find an IT friend and trace the IP address and deal with them that way
• advise your child NEVER NEVER NEVER to send a naked or compromising photograph of herself / himself as boyfriends/ girlfriends are not always together and those photographs can be distributed without their knowledged
• If your child is under 16 years old and he/she has sent this photo and someone else is circulating it that person can be prosecuted for distribution of Child Pornography.
• Talk, Talk, Talk to your child
• Be available to them
• Be observant about their behaviour, yes they are teens and tweens but follow that instinct.
• Its tough being a teenager in this age of mega technology

What are our schools doing about this:

There should be a bullying policy in place at the school. Not with cyberbullying it is very important that there is some sort of control regarding technology at school.

• Computer Classrooms need to be monitored with adult supervision (this still cannot eliminate messages being sent) but what is viewed can be monitored and limited
• No cellphone policy at the school, this will eliminate distractions during class and clips being made during class or on the playground
• Parents must get involved in the school and report any bullying that may have occurred

 What is our government doing about this:

A draft cyber crime policy was gazetted on 19 February 2010 inviting public comments and the revised integrated document shall be finalised during 2010. The policy also aims to bridge the technological and legal divide, to ensure the country collaborates with other states to support its cyber security initiatives – something that is not being done.

It calls for the development of interventions to address cyber crime through partnerships between government, businesses and civil society.

Recognising that the issue of cyber security goes beyond the DOC`s mandate, the policy calls for the creation of a National Cyber Security Advisory Council. This body would advise the communications minister on policy, promote coordinated public private partnerships, and provide oversight regarding the implementation of national cyber security initiatives.

This is something that is going to be very difficult to control

Legislation against cyber bullying in America.:

Now legislation is set to be passed at least in Missouri (and possibly through Congress) that would make cyberbullying illegal. The new legislation (PDF) reads: ‘Whoever transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication, with the intent to coerce, intimidate, harass, or cause substantial emotional distress to a person, using electronic means to support severe, repeated, and hostile behavior, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.’

Bibliography /Sources:

[1]http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_impact_did_the_invention_of_the_telephone_have

[2]http://berkeley.edu/news/berkeleyan/1996/0124/telephone.html

[3]http://www.textually.org/textually/archives/cat_sms_a_little_history.htm

[4]http://mybroadband.co.za/news/Internet/11238.html

[5]www.cyberbullying.us

[6]Campbell, Marilyn A (2005) Cyber bullying: An old problem in a new guise? Australian Journal of Guidance and Counselling 15 (1): 68-76

[7]Beal, Andrew V. and Hall, Kimberly R.(2007) ‘Cyberbullying: What School Administrators(and parents) can do’. The Clearing House: A Journal of Educational Strategies, Issues and Ideas, 81:1,8-12

[8] http://www.parentscorner.org.za/blog/cyber-bullying

Picking up from where I left off on the last post which focussed on the Pro’s of Social Networking, where it was clear communication tops the logs. So what does the other side look like? The downside pertaining to social networking for adults have been highlighted using the same points as the pro’s:

• Networking: Networking via social networking channels can become very informal, and it can interfere with relationships be it personal, work, or clients if taken to far. For example two colleagues begin to chat via work email, one is a senior the other a junior. When they meet at a work function the senior expects respect from the junior where as the junior thinks they are now tight buddies. This will damage the working relationship and can influence many aspects including work assignments and performance management reviews from the senior side to work ethics and work delivery from the junior side.

 • Email: Sending or replying to emails is a very quick and easy process. Sometimes responding quickly to an email is an impulsive trait and can be detrimental to yourself personally if it’s a personal email or to your reputation at work and /or towards your client. Firstly it is important to read the email properly. It is very easy to skim over an email and pick up what you think are the highlights of the email, or you can also pick up only what you want to ie selective reading. If you have misread an email and responded in haste or in anger this will be detrimental. Have you ever sent an email to the wrong person? Is it because you are in a hurry or maybe you pressed the initial of the name individual you were going to send it to, and you just pressed enter without looking. When you look at your sent items its says another name, maybe a naughty joke being sent to your boss instead of your husband. (I can sense you cringing in your seat… but this truly happens). This can be truly embarrassing.

Even worse what if you and your significant other work in the same industry but for opposing firms, and confidential information was sent to him instead of for example your senior manager. This could lead to dismissal or a disciplinary warning. The reasons for these examples can be any one or more of the following: Haste. No attention to detail. Distraction. Trying to multi task, badly.

Talking on the phone while sending emails. IM’ing while you are working. Tired. And the list can go on… Think back…. Have you sent an email/s in haste…. Has it backfired…..has it had unfavourable repercussions? Take a look at your work ethic… would you want to hire someone like you.

At work how much time do u spend weeding out or reading spam, junk emails, personal emails, waste of time emails, subscription, chain emails and sometimes or many times there is absolute nonsense in these emails and worst of all some of them try to guilt trip you. You do realise by spending all this time reading and weeding and thinking of who to forward the email to you are actually wasting and stealing the company’s time Internet / Websites: Information overload, there is so much information out there and some of the information can be absolute rubbish. But we still read it! How much time do you as adults browse on websites browsing and reading when you should be working.

• Cellphones: Do you take calls during work time, personal arbitary calls. Yes we do spend most of our day at work and we do need to organise a lift for our child here, booking doctors or dentist appointment, reading an sms from your wife who says she loves you. We need to be mindful though. Talking on cellphones at work for prolonged periods of time to our friends about the Stormers and Bull’s game and how they could of scored better and how drunk you got after the match and could not drive home etc etc. These long and inappropriate calls are not part of what work ethic is about. It is okay though if you hold the longer type call during your lunch or tea break.

My belief is that cellphones are the modern day cancer of smoking. We have no idea what the definitely long term effects are to your body from speaking on a cellphone. We do however know what the immediate effects are from talking and/ or texting on your phone while you are driving. It is worse than drunken driving. It is dangerous, lethal and stupid. A conversation cannot be that life threatening that cannot wait 5 or 30 seconds for you to pull off into a parking bay to send an sms or reply to an IM if it is that important. Really people. You need to controlling your urges to look at what someone wants to say to you – are you really that insecure that you have the need for immediate gratification.

• Facebook: In the pro’s I commented that there is a freedom of speech here. As I commented above, there is a need for immediate gratification. Facebook can and has for some people become their spouse/significant other bashing post, work bashing post, people bashing post – which please take note is cyberbullying (some interesting articles coming soon on this ), but also airing views which are not altogether social. Do you really want people to know you have just cut your toenails, or you have had to change your babies diapers 3 times in 1 hour… sometimes some thing’s should still stay private. What is that say “ To Much Information!”

Remember that what ever you post even if you delete it, be it photo’s or words or videos it will always be in cyber memory. Be careful of what you post. Also remember and this is a biggy, when you are apply for a position it is a popular way for a new company to find out about their potential new employee, which is to facebook you. Some companies are not keen on employees who have photographs of debaucherous, drunken, rude, naked individuals representing their company. You are creating a persona for yourself on your profile be thoughtful and not naïve.

Do you have kids? Do your kids see your site… remember that saying “monkey see, monkey do”. One last comment about Facebook, how much time do you surf or chat on this site… is it work time or personal time. Lots of Food for thought. A longer post will be available soon just focussing on the Dangers of Facebook.

 • IM/Chatrooms: I don’t really want to repeat myself but just to highlight, are u being genuine, are you communicating truthfully with the individual or group you are in. One example: a couple each have a group of friends on their phones and they IM them regularly, just to say hi and find out when the next social is. What happens when one partner begins to communicate inappropriately with an IM friend be it social or a work colleague. Just because you are not being physically inappropriate you are still CHEATING on your partner.

Put up boundaries for yourself, be firm with others who try to cross the line. You are representing yourself and its your reputation on the line. If you are married or in a serious relationship, you have made a commitment to another person to be faithful. If you think just chatting, joking and sharing emotional stuff with another person online is not cheating think again, this is deemed as an emotional online relationship.

Be aware, be conscious of what you are doing now and saying now, if you find yourself being inappropriate – stop dammit before it goes to far. You are an adult, with a brain use it. If you find yourself doing this then you need to reassess your relationship with your significant other. I am not giving marriage advice (another post some time in the future) but if you can’t share with your partner what you are sharing with a stranger – things are NOT okay in Vegas.

If you are in a chatroom where you do not know anyone, be careful here too, people lie about who they are to get reactions and to live out dreams, it could just be your daughter’s friend pretending to be an adult. Play it safe. Inform your children about the dangers, be open with them. Watch their social networking links and behaviour.

To summarise the Con’s for social networking for adults are:

• Communicating inappropriately outside of your moral and ethical standing because your are not visible – remember chats can be saved and used against you if you were improper.

 • Communicating across networks tastelessly does not make cheating on a spouse less inappropriate

 • It is dangerous to text and drive • Sending nasty emails to colleagues or friends or even sending demeaning photographs depicting others is seen as cyberbullying. Don’t be a bully.

• Are you working effectively a work or do you spend a lot of time surfing the net, talking on your cellphone, IM’ing, sms’ing etc.

• Don’t be naïve, profiles do not always represent the individual.

 • Your facebook account is a reflection of your persona, if its questionable or unsavoury, think a) you also represent the company you work for – their clients also review who is doing work for them and b) if you have kids, your kids will get to see your site or their friends will.

• Sites are representative of what you portraying, are you who you say you are.

Reality check peeps

Be warned:

Computer IP addresses can be tracked – you think you are anonymous – I don’t meant to burst your bubble but your are not.

All information / posts / pictures / videos posted on the internet can never never ever be deleted, it will always be in cyber memory and always accessible.

 You cannot take back what you say on in an Instant Chat room or on an Instant Message – think before you type……“cut once measure twice”

Reality check peeps

When dealing with most topics there are always the good and the bad, the positive and negative, the for and against etc etc. This topic will look at what the pro’s and con’s of social networking are.

This post will specifically focus onthe Pro’s and Cons of social networking pertaining to adults, there will obviously be overlaps with teens and tweens, this will be obvious and noted .  The following post will targeted the Pro’s and Con’s for teens and tweens

So… What are the Pro’s for Adults:

• Networking as it plainly denotes this diverse tool can be used for social as well as for business networking.  Adults normally socialise in face to face settings where there is always talk of shop (work).  Social networking allows individuals to engaging on work topics, new products, strategy, etc through various networks such as email (static communication), and/or chatrooms, instant messenger (IM), work specific IM (live, fluid communication). There is definitely money to be made through these kinds of communication.  The communication is not only heralded via work colleagues but via new clients / new companies and / or potential clients. Its that old adage – word of mouth… has now been adapted to the new adage as – word/thought via text .
• Email is one of the, if not the top form of communication for the working world. Everything that is sent is in writing between parties and that which has been send can be  legally binding.  It can be kept on record and decisions can be communicated more easily than sitting having countless meetings.  Information is also sent via email, this making the post office fairly redundant except for parcels and accounts, though these too are being send electronically which is good for the carbon footprint of the world.
• Websites host tons of information to be communicated into the big world wide web of users. Websites are used to inform the public / clients/audience of  new products on the market, advertise, obtain opinions on products via comment boxes or surveys.  These tactics boosts sales and determines supply and demand.  This then allows for further strategy on the product through feedback/comments/purchases, all of which is immediate.
• Facebook: is one of the most popular mediums whereby adults (and teens) can create a profile of themselves. A profile that can provide as much or as little  as they want to share with family friends, friends of friends or open it up to all on Facebook.  Adults are able to link up with their long lost school friends, primary friends, family and those who live overseas or those they are not in contact often; and via verse they are able to track their friends past and  current activities. This site allows for status updates, posting comments, commenting on others posts, chatting via instant chat, creating events and inviting those who you select, creating groups and making them open or closed, opening business sites and marketing oneself on this medium. All comments and posts can be deleted from their page if they have made an error or have changed their minds. It is a place where freedom of speech reigns.

These are the following statistics taken from Facebook’s website http://www.facebook.com/press/info.php?statistics

*  there are more than 500 million active users (this includes youth)

*  50% are active and log on daily

*  Have an average user has 130 friends

*  700 billion minutes per month is spent on Facebook (this is a CON for adults and business see the con’s section), Entrepreneurs and developers from more than 190 countries build with Facebook Platform

*  250 million mobile users access Facebook, and these users are more active than those who use their PC’s for access to Facebook

• Cellphones: Cellphones next to email is also the most popular medium of communicating.  Cellphones are used to communicate via talking (verbally)or non verbally via sms, email and mms.  Many of the current mobile / cell phones have many the social networking sites already preloaded such as facebook, instant messenger (IM), twitter, email. There are many others and many more can be loaded as a cost or for free such as googletalk, WhatsApp to name two.  Cellphones have functional accessories whereby one can talk hands free in the car.
• Instant Messenger (IM)/Chat rooms: these two  popular social networking sites are available on cellphones where a monthly fee is paid to activate certain services and no matter how many messages one sends it does not cost beyond the monthly fee paid, which in relative in expensive.  Instant Messenger is the adults version of the teens MXit.  An individual can create a limited profile and add daily or current status’ which is available for everyone who is connected to that individual via IM to read.  Chat’s can be saved but cannot be recalled.

To summarise then the Pro’s for social networking for adults are:

• Increase communication and networking with friends, family, colleagues, work acquaintances, clients, new businesses etc. the list is endless.
• Meet and chat to family, friends and new potential friends /people via verbal (skype) or non verbal social networking sites
• Setting up family events or personal or work events
• Hands free functional kits available for cars to enable drivers to talk while driving.
• Getting feedback from survey’s available on the internet
• Setting up personal profiles
• Learning new things via social networking sites.

Now that we have looked at the pro’s, where it is clear communication tops the logs.  So what does the other side look like? 

This will be posted very soon on the next blog….

Do you monitor the amount of time you spend on your social networking sites or sending sms’s, chatting or IM’ing etc?

Do yourself a favour and now over this long weekend do a quick calculation of the time you spend…

• checking Facebook, My Space, Linkin
  

  Do you have your Priorities straight when it comes to allocating time when interacting on Social Networking sites?

• sending SMS’s, MMS etc
• Chatting to friends on Mxit, chatrooms, skype etc
• IM’ing
• ignoring others around you to read the responses you receive

While you are calculating the time you are spending networking socially, think about

• What you could of done
• What did you miss out on
• What responsibilities did you ignore and was it harmful to yourself or someone / thing else

Do you think you could not use social networking for 1 whole day… if you think so I dare you to try it.

Please leave me a comment on the time you have spent networking an  on what you missed out on.   Thanks. Robby